It is mad how October is coming to an end so soon, I can't believe how this year has gone by so fast filled with success and downfalls I hope to finish this year off with a BANG!!
Firstly, where have I been? what have I been up to? FAD Fashion Futures has been a HUGE part of it, being able to showcase my work at LONDON FASHION WEEK
It's true! So what?
Applying for Fashion futures was never about lfw or winning because for all my long term readers know me as a person who strives for personal growth and health more than anything. I can honestly say winning awards does not mean anything to me, it was about what I learn and can gain from the experience, it was a golden opportunity. I promised myself before turning 18 I would do as many of these amazing schemes available, which living in London we are so lucky to have.(normally it's only for 15-18 yr olds sucks when you realise your an adult)
[P R O S]
- It's something that I can take away and translate to somewhere else with the skills I learnt there. (because honestly college was not doing me any justice)
- Being around like-minded people was a bonus.
- Getting to interact with people older than me, who has experience in life is honestly more that I could ever ask for. It gets juicy when I could just sit and talk to them about their interesting or adventurous life.
LIST GOES ON......and...oN
Getting that far in........ was a huge achievement for me!
I was just wholeheartedly doubting myself more than anything especially when I struggled with pattern cutting and when I looked around everyone seemed to be flying by or just understanding it after one explanation, whilst my brain was just lost in translation, It felt like another language.
Was I unskilled to be there?
though I doubted myself I never wanted to give up I was willing to learn and improve - not when my MAIN reason for applying for FAD was to learn more about myself as a designer // individual gaining an experience that really motivated me, showed me that overall fashion is really what I want to do.
Most Importantly to KILL any BAD VIBES. which I had going on.
[ R A N T ]
Honestly speaking I stumbled on to FAD on the search for a scheme to sign up to something that drove me to redeem my love for design, that something that I could look forward to and become the person I was when I first started. with freedom to design whatever you want as an individual.
In my previous posts I stressed my disheartening concerns for what my college had done to me, they had literally sucked out all my hopes and passion which they had left me with and switched it with the despiteful taste of hatred!! It made me feel.... where the last place I ever wanted to be was, in college. the craziest thing was it had nothing to do with the people it was simply the tutors I had. MANIACS!! I've never met such horrible teachers in my entire life of being in school, Ones that told me I'm not good at sewing (I'm here to learn for a reason) or I won't go far as to being near good enough to attend Central Saint Martins.
(I was positive that things would get better, that optimism I had left was drained out of me on this one incident; My tutor took all the stress she had built in and pushed it out onto me I had done nothing wrong all I had done was persisted my way through helping everyone else around me.
I was at my breaking point then like a rock that hit, my line was drawn I couldn't take it!!)
I could not give a damn about college about what they could offer me because in reality they had done nothing but undermined my skills where I was told not good enough I faced it head on with a mindset that told me, Yes I know I'm not good enough but I'm willing to work my hardest to become good. (no one is ever amazing right away, I admit my skills aren't the greatest but, you have to nurture and persist on your skills in order for you to be the best you can be.)
I used all the rage and all the anger I had boiling up in me, to take the courage to do something outside that was positive and that might give me hope that I could do it.
Once one of my tutors found out their act switched on me. It was haunting! she smiled and told me I'm so proud that your doing something outside of your own time it really shows how dedicated you are. -____-
My self-affirmation was I can do it! I can become the person that my future envisions!
its okay that you cant see it because I don't expect you to.
I focused my priorities on things that were available outside opportunities and inspiration.
You know, the real world where real people with real industry careers and knowledge understands - help you realise that the small college world you came from doesn't define you.
It was just the ultimate surprise when I was announced as the winner of the innovation award :) it was like a rush of emotions spilling all at once, I could not compose of comprehending what was actually going on around me people slowly moving in slow motion.
GOING TO MISS EVERYONE!
Overall the best part has to be getting to meet people who care and love what they do,
they also put their heart and soul into pushing us to be the best that we could.
If anyone is applying for Fashion futures or thinking about it, DO IT!! the only regrets you will have is not trying.
In the beginning, I was very hesitant on whether to apply or not to, simply because it stated on the website I had to go through college and bearing in mind I was having some tough moments at college, I wanted to keep the things I do outside and in college separated. I wanted a place to get away and learn more than anything. I emailed having nothing to lose other than a simple no, however to my surprise I was more than gladly accepted on to the scheme.
For more information go to FAD website :)
hope to see you in my next post.
PEACE OUT XX SINDY